The Rock Bottom List

Number 3 on the RBL

Whether it be athletes, celebrities, business executives or your best friend we all have people that get on your last nerve.  That's why we here at The Mendoza Line have decided to create 'The Rock Bottom List'.  Anybody who watched wrestling as a kid (or still watch it now) know who the Rock is.  From his rants on the mic to his eyebrow raising shenanigans the Rock is one of the most popular WWE superstars of all time.  We decided to take his patented finishing move, The Rock Bottom, and create a list of five people each week who are ticking us off and deserve to get the ultimate Rock bottom through the Spanish Announce table.  Each week we'll ask a non contributor to rank the 5 people we have chosen.  First off, for those of you that are unfamiliar with the Rock Bottom here's a link for ya The Rock Bottom  Each person will be ranked according to the level of professional wrestling damage we feel they deserve.  Each writer will write a short paragraph on why they think their person deserves the ultimate Rock Bottom and, like I said before, the list of 5 will be determined by a non-contributor to the blog.  This week's person is my roommate Mike. 

The 5 levels of punishment are:
Poor Announce Table
Rock Bottom followed up by the People's elbow
The Most Electrifying Move in Sports Entertainment
Patented Rock rant as he slurs insults your direction
And the 5th person just gets a raised eyebrow to suggest "what the hell were they thinking?"

Alright now onto the list.  We'll go from number 5 to 1 in true countdown fashion.  I'll post what each person had to say and then we'll move onto the next one so without further ado I bring you the Inaugural Rock Bottom List:

5. My Rock Bottom has to go out to Brian L. Roberts and any and all executives of Comcast Telecommunications. For a company that prides themselves on the level of customer service they provide, they sure do blow. I bet they set their quality standard at the same level a monkey could do customer service because apparently that all you need to be a customer service rep for Comcast. I don't know how many times I've had to wait on hold for a good 40 min, due to higher than normal call volume....its always higher than normal because your service sucks. If your not going to improve your actual service, hire more service reps. We all know you can afford it for the amount of money you charge for your shitty service. Secondly, how can you not reward your returning customers with better prices, or at least allow them to renew the contract at the same prices. I'm not one to complain much.....that's a lie, but at least this is justified and if I had any other choice for cable and internet service, believe me, I would pay for that in a heart beat over this garbage. Here's to at least one more lost customer, Comcast. -Feeney.  Now this is deserving of a Rock Bottom but for this week it comes in at number 5 and gets the patented raised eyebrow.

4. Brian Kelly, Head Coach at Notre Dame. I'm sorry but I don't know how a performance like that on Saturday can happen. I'm not even a Notre Dame fan; far from it! I can say that this guy is not the answer in South Bend. Irish fans probably should've been be wary of this fool when his own players at Cincy were calling him a quitter. As an Iowa fan, I cannot even imagine an Iowa player saying that about Kirk Ferentz if he ever left for another job. There are several other coaches that fall under that same category, where they have enough respect to not say that about the guy who is grooming them into a young man. I didn't thinka mediocre season would be Kelly's downfall, but after seeing him on the sideline losing his cool, and the pitiful performance, I think a mediocre season may in fact do him in. As of today though, he gets my rock bottom of the week, and a Peoples Elbow for good measure!- Bam. I completely agree with you Bam but in this weeks Rock Bottom List Brian Kelly is only bad enough for one of those patented Rock rants where he tells BK to know his role "IF YA SMELALALALALALALALALALA WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING"

3. My Rock Bottom for this week is for Kevin Plank who designed the Maryland uniforms last night. While yes, they may be cool cause they represent your state flag, but they are terrible. If they were one color or the other they would at least be tolerable, but the half and half look was not doing it for me. Recruits love it, and it generated a ton of interest in your program for a day or 2. But they are ugly, and for that, you get a rock bottom followed by the people's eyebrow - Kyle.  It was a tough decision only putting Mr. Plank at 3 because these uniforms were God awful, if you don't believe me take a scroll back to the top of the page.  Unfortunately these uniforms were not hideous enough and therefore they just get the people's elbow. 

2. Steve Carrell, Movie Star and former TV star on The Office, for leaving the show in the prime.
Listen Steve I get it, you want to go out and persue your movie career without having to do the day to day grind of TV. The issue I have with this is that you are leaving a show that you get multiple Emmy nominations and great ratings for a movie career that has shown nothing but a few fleeting laughs. Sure i see the movies can bring you short term gains but look at the people from Seinfeld they are still making millions and not even doing anything but walking to the mailbox.  My best example of someone who did this and is probably regretting it is Topher Grace. Topher was Eric in the TV show That 70’s show which was a hit for 6 seasons before he got greedy and written off when they couldn’t come to terms and the show was never the same. Well Topher Karma is a fickle thing because that big movie career you were looking for never came and you made a couple of crappy movies and things are over and I bet your more than likely restocking RedBoxes in Hollywood with a few of your crappy movies to pay your bills.  Truth is I like Steve Carrell in 40 Year Old Virgin and a few others to a lesser degree but The Office will never be the same. Only time will tell what will happen but I really hope he made the right choice or he will be working at Denny’s as a server in Missoula, Montana in a few years wondering what happened and I will still be bitter for him ruining my favorite show on TV. AND FOR THAT STEVE…. YOU GET ROCK BOTTOMED! -Matt. Well written Matt and this was a close choice for 1st but Steve quitting on one of the best shows on television is good enough to get him a Rock Bottom and a people's elbow

1. Rob Dyrdek you are the 1st winner of the weekly Rock Bottom List and you deserve all of the fictional pain that comes with getting Rock Bottomed through an announcing table.  The reason you were chosen number 1 is because you went ahead and "created" a show that has already been done.  Daniel Tosh (creator of Tosh.o) created your show 3 years ago and you had the audacity to come on during your first episode and say that this was an idea that you had.  'Ridiculousness' is the title of that show but I like to refer to it as Tosh.2.0 because that's basically what it is.  You both view youtube videos in front of a studio audience and then proceed to make jokes about these videos.  I don't understand why someone as famous as you needs to ripoff someone's show when you were doing just fine with 'Rob and Big', the 'Fantasy Factory' and your Skate League on ESPN2.  But you got greedy and apparently ran out of ideas and decided to steal the concept from another very popular and hilarious show and make it your own and that is why you get the ultimate Rock Bottom through the Spanish Announce table this week. -Morehouse

That's it for the first weekly installment of the Rock Bottom List, if you have any people you'd like to "see" get Rock Bottomed through the announce table email us at wedontactuallyhavearealemailforthesite@gmail.com or facebook/tweet us.