Rock Bottom List 2.0

Well another week has passed us by and along with that more chumbolones who are in need of a rock bottom. So with that, I present you with the second edition of the Rock Bottom List. (PS: Short list this week as apparently there aren’t enough chumbolones who need rock bottoms)

Serena Williams, star Women’s tennis player:

Look folks, no one can doubt the impact that the Williams sisters have had on the sport of tennis and they are both cultural icons. If I have a daughter someday, they are definitely symbols of excellence that I can point to. With all of that said, Serena is notorious for her brat behavior on the court, and she crossed the line in the Women’s final of the US Open on Sunday. The story goes, that during the match she ripped a forehand winner but screamed, and had to cede the point due to what is called a hindrance. Basically she tried to distract her opponent while she was trying to return the ball. She then turned to the judge and went on a tirade against her. This was not the same judge that she had problems with during the 2009 US Open against Kim Clijsters. She said "Aren't you the same one who screwed me over the last time?" How classless. Whether you agreed with the call or not, it matters not. You simply cannot act that way. She continued her tirade saying "Seriously, you have it out for me and I promise you..." Apparently she caught herself from threatening the judge as she did during her 2009 meltdown in which she got fined 90K, and placed on probation for grand slam events.  She didn't stop there though. The diarrhea at the mouth continued as she said "You're out of control," "You're a hater, and you're just unattractive inside," and "Really, don't even look at me." Ultimately she was fined a 'modest' $2000 for the whole ordeal as the Grand Slam tournament officials stated "While verbally abusive, did not warrant being placed on probation." Again, for anyone who follows Women’s sports, it goes without saying the impact the Williams have had on American Women’s tennis and women’s sports in general. It is because of this though, because women’s sports stars are at a premium, that Serena Williams gets a Rock Bottom from ole BAM....Close there BAM, but like Serena was doing to the poor official, the people’s champ will now lay into Serena with a patented Rock rant…if ya smeellalalalalalalalalallalaaaaa

Bill Musgrave- Minnesota Vikings offensive coordinator: 

I get that we have only had one week in the NFL season but if one thing is certain Mr. Musgrave is not going to be running the offense of the 2000 Vikings or the “greatest show on turf” of Rams fame. In fact I think that he went to the Denny Green school of conservative play calling also known as run, run, pass and is going to be painfully predictable all year. I get that we don’t have a lot of weapons but you have to be a little more creative then you showed this weekend. We all remember the infamous 1998 NFC Championship Game where Mr. Green turned in a coach that would make the TEA Party blush with his second half play calling and drove Minnesotans into a bender that would make the people in Wisconsin look like saints. Please Bill I am begging you show us something but for your lack of creativity you have been…Rock Bottomed….getting closer now, hopefully the most electrifying move in sports entertainment can spark some offensive creativity next week!

Major League Baseball:

Why would you not let the Mets wear FDNY or NYPD hats on 9/11. We all know what happened on that day and why it is important. Word on the street is that Joe Torre was involved in the decision. Really Joe? The Yanks went to the World Series that year and really rallied the city, and the Mets did the same once baseball resumed after the towers fell. If the Yankees had been playing in New York on Sunday, MLB would've rolled out the red carpet. They would have had every police officer and firefighter in New York at the game, I just don't get why the MLB would not let the Mets pay tribute to those who serve us on a daily basis and were involved in 9/11. That's why you get my Rock Bottom MLB…not only will MLB and I’m gonna say Bud Selig on this one get the rock bottom, but they will also feel the pain of the people’s elbow.

New Mexico State Aggies:

I understand, you just upset a Big Ten (12) team on the road, and I get it you guys are generally one of the worst teams in college football and haven’t won a BCS Game since 1999, but after what happened on the Minnesota sideline with :20 to go, did you really feel it necessary to give your head coach a Gatorade shower?  It is week 2 of the season and honestly I think even without the Coach Kill situation it still would’ve been unnecessary. Celebrate all you want, you beat us, and had a great game, but all I’m saying is go into the locker room first. Congrats on a big win for your program, and for your efforts: a rock bottom!!! And congratulations again NMST, you win the 2^nd rock bottom award and get planted directly through the Spanish announcers table.