WWE WrestleMania XXVIII
April 1, 2012
Sun Life Stadium
Miami, Florida
I must say that it had been a few years since I was
looking forward to a WrestleMania for an entire card. In fact, I have to go
back 7 years to find a time I was this excited about a WrestleMania for more
than just 1 match (I was hyped up for WrestleMania’s 25 and 26 for
Shawn-Taker). Maybe it was just because I was excited about the Rock, and maybe
it is because I do see some positive things in today’s product. Either way, I
couldn’t wait to see this show. I saw the show live on PPV, so now picked up
the DVD about two months removed from the show as I always feel like my 2nd
viewing of a show is the fairest way of rating it.
Commentators: Michael Cole and Jerry “The King”
Lawler
World Heavyweight Championship
Daniel Bryan (champion) w/ AJ vs. Sheamus
Bryan gets a little good luck kiss from AJ and then
gets nailed with the Brogue kick and just like that it’s over. The “smarks” are
shocked by this, but the truth is, I predicted this pretty much right after
Elimination Chamber. The way they were booking Daniel Bryan and the total
derailment of any momentum Sheamus got for winning the Royal Rumble led me to
believe that it would in fact by Daniel Bryan that would get the annual SD
Jones treatment that have become tradition in recent years. A mere two months
later and it’s safe to see that no one wins here. Sheamus has been the guy
Vince is hoping can be the face of the company, and the crowd just isn’t buying
it. Bryan actually was the one who benefitted from all of this short-term as
his “Yes chant” got over huge. Unfortunately for him, in a mere two months a
combination of other wrestlers stealing it in stupid ways (Sheamus) and Bryan
himself running it into the ground, has any momentum for Daniel Bryan the
character halted. The Yes chant will live on, but the character still needs
work. As for Sheamus… here’s a thought, if you want one of these guys to get
over and be the face of your company, how about you have them win the Royal
Rumble, continue to be relevant in the lead to WrestleMania, and have him not
be the curtain jerker of the biggest show of the year? Otherwise, he’s just another guy, which he
is. DUD
Kane vs. Randy Orton
So Kane makes his return, jobs out to John Cena at
every turn, and now gets to feud with Randy Orton, probably the most overhyped
non-super superstar in WWE history. Kane used to be a great monster, setting
people on fire, etc. Now he’s the least threatening monster ever after being
Cena’s bitch for 3 months. I’m supposed to care about him because he has his
mask again. Kane shockingly goes over here with a pretty cool choke slam from
the 2nd rope to extend this dead feud another month. Both guys are
directionless at this point because there are just other characters that people
care about more. **
IC Championship
Cody Rhodes (champion) vs. Big Show
Yet another feud that has done nothing for either
man’s career. Cody works on the leg nicely, and then takes a nice outside bump,
until Big Show catches him and punches him out to win the IC title. Really?
What good does this do? I guess to give Big Show a deserved WrestleMania
moment. I guess. ¾*
Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos vs. Beth Phoenix and
Eve
And we’re closing out what might be the worst hour
of wrestling in WrestleMania history. Something tells me that hour 1 isn’t
going to end well either with this group of girls. There isn’t anything
remotely good about this match. Maria clearly hurts herself and somehow rolls
up Beth Phoenix which makes Austin’s roll up on Owen Hart when he had just
broken his neck more believable. Seriously, this is makes Kat vs. Terri from
WrestleMania 2000 look like Flair-Steamboat by contrast. DUD
Hell in a Cell Match w/ Shawn Michaels as Special
Guest Referee
Undertaker vs. Triple H
This is billed as “end of an era.” These two, along
with Shawn Michaels are according to Triple H the “last of a dying breed.” He
actually said that they were the last to leave it all in the ring. Kind of a
slap in the face of the current crop of superstars if you ask me. Both guys get
amazing entrances, particularly the Undertaker. If this is his last match, he’s
going out in style in every aspect. Undertaker removes his hood, and reveals
that he is pretty much bald, and HHH takes a step back. Undertaker has on an
awesome leather jacket with spike-like things coming out of the arms, and then
the Cell comes down. Very cool. Standard brawl and immediately what I like
about this year’s match as opposed to last years is they pace the crazy high
impact stuff a lot better knowing the match will have to go on longer. Also, it
is the Undertaker getting the better of HHH more often than not early in the
match, which was a major complaint of people that HATED last years match. They
hated the idea of the Undertaker just getting his ass kicked from beginning to
end. Things start to pick up when HHH hits Taker with a spine buster on the
steel steps. Undertaker gets hells gate, but HHH counters by slamming Taker to
the mat to break the hold. HHH also gets some blood above the eye. Then things
get silly. I absolutely hate the fact that we get running commentary from the
participants. Wrestling is telling a story with your body, I don’t need HHH,
Undertaker, and Shawn to tell me what’s going on verbally. I can clearly see
what’s going on. Then Shawn contemplating stopping the match is just stupid.
Then just when I can’t think it can’t get any more stupid, Undertaker puts
Shawn in hells gate. Then no one is there to count HHH out when Undertaker
nails HHH with the choke slam. Finally Shawn gets up and nails Undertaker with
sweet chin music, and into the pedigree, and I’m left thinking the streak is
over, but Undertaker kicks out. So incoherent story aside, it does sort of work
to make the clusterfuck of a match into a rather enjoyable one, and then Undertaker
makes his comeback. Tombstone, and HHH kicks out, and I’m totally loving a
match that I pretty much hated 3 minutes before. Crowd fully behind Undertaker
and I’m quite sure there would be riots in Miami if HHH walked away as the
winner. It’s illustrated even more clearly as HHH hits Taker with another pedigree,
and gets another two count. Then things get really cool, and the brilliance of
the story unfolds. Both guys go for the weapon of choice. Taker a chair, HHH
his sledgehammer. Undertaker gets to his first, and then steps on HHH’s hand as
he grabs the hammer as if to say “not tonight, not ever.” Then in a role
reversal, Undertaker beats the holy hell out of HHH with the chair, and smarks
across the world must be loving this. We get a little more senseless audio, and
then HHH gets the hammer as Undertaker just stands there. One last effort to
nail Undertaker with the hammer doesn’t work, and HHH knows that “it’s over Johnny”
and gives him the DX crotch chop. Taker responds by nailing him with the sledgehammer,
picking him up and nailing him with one last emphatic tombstone for the 3
count. Seriously, if there are HHH-haters, and there are many, they must have
loved the finish to this match. I’m not sure how to rate this match. The
senseless audio from Shawn, HHH, and taker really takes away from the match,
but the finish is absolutely brilliant. I’m going to give this match ****1/2
which is up from my rating upon first viewing. All 3 guys do a little curtain
call to the crowd and walk out together.
12 Man Tag Team Match
Team Johnny (Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, Miz, David
Otunga, Jack Swagger, and Drew McIntyre) vs. Team Teddy (Booker T, Kofi
Kingston, Great Khali, Santino Marella, Zack Ryder, and R-Truth)
So this is for control of both RAW and Smackdown! for
Johnny and Teddy Long. Something tells me this isn’t going to be the Canadian
Stampede 10 man tag from 1997. It’s just a clusterfuck in fact, and the time
constraints means that it’s just a lame way to get a bunch of workers a
WrestleMania payday. They all are wearing their team shirts. This would be a
great storyline for Survivor Series, but what do I know? End comes when Ryder
comes in and cleans house, then Eve distracts him and the ref and Miz hits him
with the skull crushing finale for the win and total control for Johnny. Eve
then predictably turns on Ryder. Good finish to a clusterfuck of a match. *
WWE Championship
CM Punk (champion) vs. Chris Jericho
Lauranitis makes this match so if Punk gets
disqualified he loses the title. Let this be a lesson. Don’t turn the feud
personal, and then expect to have a regular wrestling match. These two would go
onto have a fantastic rematch at Extreme Rules in a Chicago street fight. They
should have had this match, and THEN do all the crap about Punks father being
an alcoholic etc. A Chicago street fight brawl would be suitable at that point.
All of that nonsense just takes away from what should have been just an amazing
wrestling match on the biggest stage. So then this turns into a match where
Jericho spends much of it trying to provoke Punk to get himself disqualified.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a good match, but my expectations were very high
for it going in and because of the story and stipulation, they were really
handcuffed to what they could do, very much like Orton-HHH at WrestleMania XXV.
Still, this is miles better than anything else thus far on the show besides the
Cell match and upon 2nd viewing it is even better. Just a back and
forth match with some brilliant spots, moves, and counter-moves. The last time
Jericho got Punk in the walls of Jericho I thought he had it, but Punk wouldn’t
tap. Finish comes with Punk making Jericho tap to the anaconda-vice. Could have
been an all-time class without the nonsense early, because the last ¾ of the
match was gold. ****
Main Event
John Cena vs. The Rock
Booked one year in advance, this is easily one of
the most hyped matches ever. Not sure it paid off for Vince in terms of buy
rates, though the butyrate does look to be pretty good. They wanted a 50-50
split for the crowd, and that was a pipe dream. Cena comes out and gets booed
out of the state of Florida, and immediately my prediction changed. There is
just no way at this point that they can send these fans home with a Rock loss.
It just can’t happen. Then Rock comes out and the place comes unglued! Two of
my favorites going at it. Yes I like Rock more than Cena, but no one can deny
that Cena has busted his ass for a company and done it in an environment that
is, ahem, not very creative. Whoever you want to blame that on, the blame
shouldn’t be going anywhere near John Cena. This one has an epic feel not seen
since the Hogan-Rock match at WrestleMania X8, which this one was compared to a
lot in the build-up. This one doesn’t have the same electricity, but it is
still suitably epic. The match itself is very good, but it was unfair to put
Rock in a position to have to go 30 minutes. They could’ve shaved about 10
minutes off this match and it would’ve been an all-time classic. As you would
expect in a showcase match like this, lots of finishers and kick outs etc. etc.
etc., similar to what we saw in the Cell match as well. I give Cena a lot of
credit here for carrying this match because Rock is visibly gassed about half
way through (again it was grossly unfair for them to expect him to go 30 here).
Though logic suggests with the crowd that Rock goes over here, at two points in
the match I thought it was going to be Cena’s night. Cena has the STF on where
Rock almost passes out, and then hits the attitude adjustment for the final
time, and Rock kicks out. The ending is fabulous as Cena sets up a perfect heel
turn for RAW the next night (didn’t happen) but gets cocky and gets hit with
the Rock Bottom for the big win. Rock celebrates, and Cena once again
brilliantly plays the dejected loser, and would have been an easy set up for a
heel turn the next night on RAW. Not the greatest match by any stretch, but
truly delivered what the WWE was looking for it to deliver. It truly was a
spectacle, definitely didn’t leave me disappointed. ***3/4
Final Analysis: Going into the event, there were
three matches that were selling this for me, and all three delivered. I’m very
satisfied with the money I paid for this. The next night on RAW we didn’t get
the Cena heel turn. Instead we got the return of Brock Lesnar and it was pretty
awesome, and it set up an awesome PPV at Extreme Rules. The booking continues
to be questionable, and two months later, WrestleMania, and Extreme Rules for
that matter seems to be a lifetime ago. Still, after several disappointing
WrestleMania’s in a row, this was a breath of fresh air. My opinion is, get the
DVD, and just watch the 3 main matches, and you won’t be disappointed.
